Why is caffeine bad for you?

CAFFEINE IS NOT BAD FOR YOU AT ALL! I'M LYING IN BED WITH AN IV DRIP OF FOUR LOCO AND GASOLINE AND I FEEL FAN-F***ING-TASTIC. IF I WEREN'T PHYSICALLY RESTRAINED I'D CONSIDER SOCKING YOU IN THE JAW FOR TALKING SMACK ABOUT CAFFEINE HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA. ONCE I GNAW THROUGH THE CUFFS WE CAN GO TALK ABOUT THIS AT A COFFEE SHOP OR STRANGLE A BEAR WITH A CROWBAR OR SOMETHING.